Well the last few days Gracie has had a cold. We are on Zyrtec. I would hate to see what the last few days would have been like if she had not been on the Zyrtec. I have felt to effects of the cold too. my first cold in forever.
The last few days have been emotional for me. my adopted daughter, Angel, graduated nursing Friday and i really felt i SHOULD'VE been there. (background): We had her live with us for two years in her teenage years and lost contact for 6 years or so. We reconnected this year and like nothing changed. her parents died in car wreck 16 years ago. I am soo glad she has said she considers me her mom. I have always loved and wanted what is best for her. Not being there for her at her pinning and graduation was hard. Cried alot that day. Work has been busy and with Gracie having cold and me not feeling the greatest its been just emotionally stressful. And with Christmas coming up- I'm hoping everyone will be well so we can all have a normal holiday all together.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Next few posts
Thought I'd post some videos of some songs that really spoke to me in the last 2 years.
--"Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns-
In the beginning I asked God to speak to me somehow, just give me something to hold on too that was true. (my mom had been trying to teach me about what was truth and what was fact) The second or third night after getting the call and before the first CF doc appt, i woke up with this song in my head. I had never heard it before that i remember. But i kept hearing the words- but the voice of truth tells me a different story....-over and over. I think i have wrapped my head this fact and truth thing finally. The fact is Gracie was Diagnosed with CF....... the Truth is that Gracie is well and whole because of Jesus. Hope this song speaks to you in your own way.
--"Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns- This is just speaks to me cause i know, like alot of you, what this means. When your life is a storm all around you know that HE is there and always was and will be so praise Him in this storm.!!!!!
--"There is a Reason" by Caedmon's Call- There is NO other explanation but that Gracie is going to do great things and reach lots of people because of this CF. That's why i have to do my job and give her all the tools, that's my job. Theres no blaming God it is just a product of this fallen world we live in. God will use this.
--"Healing Hand of God"by Jeremy Camp-This is what i rest in everyday every minute.
--"Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns-
In the beginning I asked God to speak to me somehow, just give me something to hold on too that was true. (my mom had been trying to teach me about what was truth and what was fact) The second or third night after getting the call and before the first CF doc appt, i woke up with this song in my head. I had never heard it before that i remember. But i kept hearing the words- but the voice of truth tells me a different story....-over and over. I think i have wrapped my head this fact and truth thing finally. The fact is Gracie was Diagnosed with CF....... the Truth is that Gracie is well and whole because of Jesus. Hope this song speaks to you in your own way.
--"Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns- This is just speaks to me cause i know, like alot of you, what this means. When your life is a storm all around you know that HE is there and always was and will be so praise Him in this storm.!!!!!
--"There is a Reason" by Caedmon's Call- There is NO other explanation but that Gracie is going to do great things and reach lots of people because of this CF. That's why i have to do my job and give her all the tools, that's my job. Theres no blaming God it is just a product of this fallen world we live in. God will use this.
--"Healing Hand of God"by Jeremy Camp-This is what i rest in everyday every minute.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
a PEACE in the middle of it all
Imagine after two years of wondering if the was even gonna be a baby in our future, we find out we are.. 9 months later little Gracie is born. 8lbs 7ounces. healthy baby girl. We get this call from a lady from the health department saying something about Cystic Fibrosis and our baby girl. I think this is not happening. i call the number the lady gave me to the clinic that we are supposed to have a n appt with in 2 weeks. The girl I talk to (Pridgett, the RT) tells me its gonna be OK and gives me very little info but calms me down. I didn't need info then she knew that. she did tell me to not look up info on the Internet cause it would just scare me. but if i had to, to look at the CFF website. During those two weeks we did alot of praying and alot of crying. Of course I was a basket case just from hormones and just having baby. My mom helped me threw alot just by being there , never telling me how i should feel or what else i should be doing, just being there. and being strong -- as usual.
On that day--SEPTEMBER 11,2008 we went to our appt at the CF clinic. I think it was early in morning like 8:30 i think. Little did i know these people i would meet that day would become important people in my life. As they did the routine sweat test and explained what CF was I was obviously listening but not listening. Cause in my mind this WAS NOT HAPPENING. i know DR Miller had to be worried cause it was written all over my face. After Dr Miller left the room and other team members came to check on us a nurse came in. Nurse Audrey :) poor thing - she came to tell us our sweat test was negative which was expected because 3 week old babies don't sweat. I told her looking at Gracie that next time it would still be negative. She looked at me and said "You don't understand the newborn screening says she had two genes which means she has CF." I just balled, I'm sure she did too- she left room quickly. But if she'd stayed she would have felt this unimaginable peace in that room as my mom started to pray over us. God just came in that room and filled it with huge peace. And no joke I knew it was gonna be OK. I'm not saying it like a cliches I mean really i knew without a doubt that it was all gonna be OK. I went from balling my eyes out to It's gonna be OK i know it!!!!!!!!!!!! next the nutritionist (Stephanie) came in and gave us our first of many solutions- enzymes for digestion. They told us they wanted to be part of our family. they are SOOOOOO that.
Gracie is now 2. her health is a testament to how great God is. the greatest. I have learned sooo many lessons in this too. He is MY rock. all the time no matter what HE is there. His promises stand true. Now we have problems just like everyone else . I'm not saying that we don't it's just it's a new normal and we trust God to lead us and to" perfect that which concerns her" as he has promised. WORRY ENDS WHERE FAITH BEGINS. I have battled that still do some but it s gets better with practice. doesn't mean it is easy- it's a total contradiction to this world but it is necessary to live in this world.
i want to be for real in this blog. so as i put to words this journey i hope you will go with me and if there is a comment please feel free to leave it.
On that day--SEPTEMBER 11,2008 we went to our appt at the CF clinic. I think it was early in morning like 8:30 i think. Little did i know these people i would meet that day would become important people in my life. As they did the routine sweat test and explained what CF was I was obviously listening but not listening. Cause in my mind this WAS NOT HAPPENING. i know DR Miller had to be worried cause it was written all over my face. After Dr Miller left the room and other team members came to check on us a nurse came in. Nurse Audrey :) poor thing - she came to tell us our sweat test was negative which was expected because 3 week old babies don't sweat. I told her looking at Gracie that next time it would still be negative. She looked at me and said "You don't understand the newborn screening says she had two genes which means she has CF." I just balled, I'm sure she did too- she left room quickly. But if she'd stayed she would have felt this unimaginable peace in that room as my mom started to pray over us. God just came in that room and filled it with huge peace. And no joke I knew it was gonna be OK. I'm not saying it like a cliches I mean really i knew without a doubt that it was all gonna be OK. I went from balling my eyes out to It's gonna be OK i know it!!!!!!!!!!!! next the nutritionist (Stephanie) came in and gave us our first of many solutions- enzymes for digestion. They told us they wanted to be part of our family. they are SOOOOOO that.
Gracie is now 2. her health is a testament to how great God is. the greatest. I have learned sooo many lessons in this too. He is MY rock. all the time no matter what HE is there. His promises stand true. Now we have problems just like everyone else . I'm not saying that we don't it's just it's a new normal and we trust God to lead us and to" perfect that which concerns her" as he has promised. WORRY ENDS WHERE FAITH BEGINS. I have battled that still do some but it s gets better with practice. doesn't mean it is easy- it's a total contradiction to this world but it is necessary to live in this world.
i want to be for real in this blog. so as i put to words this journey i hope you will go with me and if there is a comment please feel free to leave it.
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